A list of random impressions from my solo dates in the South, January 2012.

THE ITINERARY

THU 1/5: Fredericksburg, VA @ Horseshoes + Hand Grenades.

FRI 1/6: High Point, NC @ JR's Corner Saloon.

SAT 1/7: early: North Charleston, SC @ The Mill,

SAT 1/7: late: North Charleston, SC @ birthday party for Toothless The Punk

SUN 1/8: Orlando, FL @ Peacock Room

TUE 1/10: Lake Worth, FL @ Propaganda.

WED 1/11: Fort Lauderdale @ Poor House.

THU 1/12: Miami, FL @ Churchill's

FRI 1/13: Sarasota @ Pastimes Pub

SAT 1/14: Gainesville, FL @ Lunchbox

MON 1/16: Asheville, NC @ Static Age Records.

TUE 1/17: Raleigh, NC @ Axe Manor

WED 1/18: Carrboro, NC at Ladybird Basement

THU 1/19: Alexandria, VA @ CD Cellar

FRI 1/20: Philadelphia, PA @ The Mansion

I WAS HONORED AND PLEASED TO SHARE THE STAGE WITH:

Tony Scott, The Parlor Soldiers, The (Soft) Slippery Slopes, Asbestos, Sean A, Xela, Charlene Everst, Kenny Millions, O.T.I., Rat Bastard, Jump Salty, John Q. Public, Chris Head, Blood Summer, Ghetto Bird, Dustin Tise, Dwight Hawkins, Ben Davis And The Jets, Ashes Vs. Leaves, My Nation Underground, Warshack, and VFW. CHAMPIONS, ALL.  

BEST MEALS OF TOUR

-Fredericksburg: falafel seasoned with hookah smoke courtesy of Trash customer Tony.

-High Point: home fries made by Coy.

-North Charleston: hummus and fresh cucumbers courtesy of Trash customer Pat.

-Orlando: yellow Thai tofu curry with Brian, who I've known for a very long time. He also makes a killer smoothie.

-SoFla: sitting at the table with Jill, Rich, Anna, and Julia.

-Gainesville: you would not believe what Tate Clair whipped up from scratch for me at The Lunchbox, which is his restaurant. Cuban style tofu tacos with sour orange juice, fresh radish salad, and leftover pizza crust. Yum!

-Somewhere in Northern Florida: fresh picked oranges from an old school souvenir stand.

-Atlanta: hash browns + biscuit at Waffle House with my old friend Bill.

-Asheville: a good ol' fashioned vegan potluck courtesy of Lucky Jr.

-Raleigh: hash browns, grits, + biscuit  at Waffle House with my friends Michael and Tabitha.

-Alexandria: tater tots covered in veggie chili with Broken Talent alumnus Ivan.

-Philadelphia: almond butter, honey, and bananas on Turkish bread with my buddy Donna.

MEAL MISCELLANY

 -Biggest missed opportunity: chance to relive the Stuckey's dining experience at an AUTHENTIC Stuckey's (blue roof and all) somewhere on the road from Asheville to Raleigh. Not enough time to stop.

 -Biggest meal mistake: eating Waffle House food twice in three days.

BEST THRIFT SHOP SCORES:

"Roaches" by Harmon Bethea on 45

"Old Man Atom" by Sons Of The Pioneers on 78

"Rappin', Dancin', and Laughin'" and "Blowfly's Party" by Blowfly on 8 track (!)

COOLEST TOURISTY SIGHTS + DOINGS

-Stonewall Jackson's entrenchments in Fredericksburg

-Tallulah Gorge (deepest canyon East of the Mississippi) in Georgia

-monument to the fallen Confederates in Raleigh

-making stretched pennies with a Frank Zappa (!) design at a rest stop in Maryland

-shopping for gator heads at the old citrus + souvenir stand in Northern Florida

-home made roadside rockets in Georgia

-a genuine Stuckey's! O, I wish I'd had the time to stop.

BEST ROADS

-Highway 17 to Savannah (2 lane blacktop in the dead of night. Total isolation.)

-Florida Turnpike (miles and miles of Florida nothingness)

-I 895 from Stone Mountain, GA to NC (plenty of small town sightseeing)

-US 27 from Miami to Okeechobee (cane fields, the levee on the lake, huge power line

  towers, air boat rides, Clewiston, isolation, etc etc etc)

WORST ROADS

-US 1 out of Raleigh (sprawl sprawl sprawl)

-I 95 just about anywhere

SPECTACULAR SUNSETS

-Rock Hill, SC

-Palm Beach County, FL

A list of random impressions from my solo dates in the South, August 2011.

-while driving in the Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia, the sun was shining on me and the mountain faces in front of me, but the entire sky behind the mountains was charcoal grey. The contrast between the illuminated mountainsides and the dark sky was breathtaking.

-I hadn't seen kudzu in many a year, but I saw plenty of it immediately after crossing VA/ NC border on I- 64.

-food highlights: veggie burger on English muffin with fresh cut sweet potato fries (Blue Moon Diner, Charlottesville, VA), vegan bbq beef and meatballs (The Remedy, Raleigh, NC), and giant sized tofu burrito (Cosmic Enchiladas (?), Chapel Hill, NC). That's what I call road food.

-food honorable mention: LIVERMUSH. While staying with the Young brothers in Lenoir NC, BBQ Young fried up plenty of livermush for the guests who wanted any. I respectfully declined, but I'm told I made a mistake because Lenoir sits comfortably in the livermush capital region of the world. I hereby promise that if I ever break vegan edge, it will be with a fried livermush and cheese sandwich as made by BBQ Young.

-I can add NC and VA to the list of states I've jogged in.

-while jogging in Lenoir, I noticed that the local plant life was different from the plant life in Connecticut. Even the patterns of the grass growing in the fields were different. In Smithfield, NC I jogged through huge fields of soybeans on long stretches of road with no cars present.

-my band ULTRABUNNY has played Ohio a number of times. The road to Ohio is Interstate 80, which stretches across the length of Pennsylvania. It's a 300 mile trip on 80 and for almost the entire duration of it, you can see grafitti that reads "Trust Jesus" on the support columns of almost every underpass along the way. The grafitti has been there for more than 10 years and some of it's starting to fade, but it's still mostly there. Imagine my surprise when I was driving south on I- 64 and saw the exact same "Trust Jesus" grafitti on the underpass columns all through Virginia! Same handwriting, placement, and color. I've driven all over this great land of ours, and I've only seen the "Trust Jesus" in Pennsylvania and Virginia. I would love to know the story behind that.

-Smithfield has the highest number of bail bondsmen in one town I've ever seen. Plus a public monument that says "Rise Above".

-while avoiding a traffic jam on I- 64, I took a brief detour through downtown Richmond. It reminded me of how much I love that city. If I have my druthers, on the next tour I will spend more time there.

-Hickory, NC was a great gig. The people there totally got what I was doing and I made many new friends. Will I play there again? YES.

-In Fayetteville I made friends with Richie Maxwell. He booked the show at the Black Cat. Richie gets the job done and has already been a great help in booking my return trip to NC.

-Sharing the stage with the almighty ANTiSEEN for 2 nights in a row was a rock and roll dream come true. I've enjoyed the live ANTiSEEN experience many times since 1984. They have never once let me down. And I was very happy to debut my version of "Animals, Eat 'Em" in front of them on their home turf. Respect!

-I headed South right before the weekend of Hurricane Irene and right after the Virginia earthquake. People told me I was nuts to go; that I'd either be swallowed up or washed away. Well, the ground was stable in VA and we got a little rain in NC. While that was happening, New England felt the tremors and got hammered by the hurricane. How's that for irony?

-in Chapel Hill, I tossed a medicine ball with my old friend Rob. Have you ever played catch with a basketball that weighs 25 pounds? I assure you that there's nothing quite like it.

-if you are ever in Lenoir and want to do some record shopping, be sure to stop by Repo Depot. It's owned by the Young brothers, Joe and BBQ. Look for the shack that's covered with records on the outside. I scored an AXE album and the best record of my whole trip: a generic dimestore single by the Jalopy Five doing a terrible version of the Beach Boys'"Fun Fun Fun". Anyone who knows me or has heard my radio show (every Tuesday at 2:00 on www.wnhu.net) knows that I thrive on terible records like that!

-In Carrboro, the record shop to hit is All Day Records. It's staffed by very friendly people and I nabbed a pile of neat old R + B 78's, including a couple by The Clovers. The Clovers blow me away. On 45 I got "Welfare Cheese" by Emmanuel Lasky, "The Ten Commandments Of Man" by Nickie Lee, and "Is It Because I'm Black" by Syl Johnson. Those records are so greasy you have to be careful with matches when you're near them.

-Dustin Tise and Ira Rogers are my main men in Raleigh. I loved playing the Axe Manor and meeting its many denizens. They tolerated me playing for almost 90 minutes and in my book, that's pretty cool!

-most surreal moment: chilling at Young Manor in Lenoir after the show in Hickory, yakking with Jeff Clayton. Suddenly the self inflicted wound from his stage performance spontaneously opens and sends blood dripping down his face. He had a paper towel at the ready and didn't lose a single word of the conversation.

-Summation: good playing, good friends, new friends, new bands, good food, and seeing the States Of America (United and Confederate) from the driver's seat. What's not to love? North Carolina: I WILL BE BACK. In January.

ULTRABUNNY TOUR DIARY, JULY 2011

  Ultrabunny played Ohio in January of 2011; the dead of winter. We thought it would be interesting to play Ohio in July; the height of summer. So, after I strapped the gas tank of the Bunnymobile (AKA my 1995 Saturn wagon) to the undercarriage with a bungee cord (it had been blown off in NYC when I ran over an inflated basketball which exploded), we all piled in, pointed our noses West, and took off. Neither torrential rain nor the desire to camp out at the Sapp Brothers truck stop (home of the world's finest hash browns) could stop us. Destination: The Stone Tavern in Kent.

The Stone Tavern is run by a fellow named Lou who took good care of us. Lou was helpful in every way, from supplying free drinks for all (including myself, who doesn't consume alcohol. He made me a glass of fresh squeezed lemon lime juice), to running sound on his night off, to being generally genial. Hats off to Lou.

When you're in a band traveling to an unknown town, you never know what awaits you there. There are standard questions that run through your mind:

-Will anyone attend the show?
-If so, will they pay attention to you?
-If so, will they like you?

It's always a gas to hit the stage and find the answer to be YES to all of the above. Kent loved Ultrabunny! There was dancing and merriment all around as we blasted our way through our set. Since we're 100% improv, we rely a lot on audience feedback to shape our rock and roll magic. Kent gave us plenty of feedback and we certainly fed back. The feeling was satisfying. Ultrabunny love Kent!

On the bill with us were MILK + COOKIES, and VILLAGE BICYCLE. VILLAGE BICYCLE reminded me of Opal/ Kendra Smith but without the opiates or the L.A. smogginess. I hope they record something soon so I can spin it on my radio show.

After playing, we met many cool people, sold a lot of merch (including the last copies of our "Thrill Of It All" hand lathed 7"), and hung out all night. Big shoutout to Jimi Imij, who had his video camera rolling, and to my new pal Squeaky who definitely showed me how to have a good time in Kent!

The next day for me was pretty mellow. While Chris and Bobby looked for thrift stores in Akron, I slept late and bummed around until they returned. Then we all hopped into the Bunnymobile and drove north to Cleveland.

On our way to My Mind's Eye Records, Ultrabunny shared a special band moment. The three of us let out a collective "WHOA" as our unified band eye spotted a large office building being demolished. I pulled over immediately and we all sprang from the vehicle, cameras in hands. We ran all over that street in downtown Cleveland snapping furiously while the locals caused a major traffic jam trying to get to the Indians game.

The Happy Dog is located in one of those neighborhoods that is becoming gentrified rapidly, but still maintains plenty of ghetto air. There's a grocery store next to the club. The big "impulse buy" item at the checkout: $1 pregnancy tests. Boxes of them.

At the Happy Dog, I was pleased to see my friend Jeff Hardy, he late of CD Truth and currently of about 16 other bands, including Zero Defex, Missle Toe, and Dead Federation. The Happy Dog is renowned for its hot dogs, tater tots, and fries. I ordered a plate of fries with homemade catsup and was satisfied for the entire evening.

I thought our set was particularly scorching. I played bass, drums, a cheap portable keyboard, and Chris' guitar, creating a wide range of vile noises. The crowd loved it. We made many new friends and secured several invitations to return. Hello Lisa, Allisun, Michael, Kat, Ryan, and all at the Happy Dog! And Cleveland.... thanks for the grope.

Sharing the stage with us in Clevo were SLOTH, and once again, MILK + COOKIES. MILK + COOKIES had been good the night before in Kent, but tonight in the Mistake By The Lake they were particularly good. Playing a couple nights in a row will do that for a band. (It certainly worked for us.) SLOTH were a ton of fun. Imagine PUSSY GALORE but soft and fuzzy instead of junked out and prickly. They were by far the best looking band, too. Seek out photos; you will not be disappointed.

The next day we went specimen hunting at the Hartville (?) Flea Market, south of Akron. Man, did we see some interesting people. Interesting people in Ohio are way different from interesting people in Connecticut. I can't quantify the diffrences, but they were noticeable. If anyone out there has access to grant money, I'll be happy to undertake some field research and write a paper.

Chris got a cool old "Secret Agent" comic book with a great picture on the front of Patrick McGoohan smoking a fake cigarette. Bobby almost bought an oversized Bratz doll and did buy a vintage Viewmaster. I got a Casio SA 35 keyboard for $2.50! And some grapes.

Then it was back to uptown Akron to do some record shopping (I found a double LP by Deaf School and made sure that Chris bought the Sonny Bono solo album from 1967) and then over to Cuyahoga Falls to loiter at Studio 2091. 2091 is Ultrabunny's official hangout spot in Ohio. Gallery keeper Amy rules the universe. She once got me to pay money for art, and that's no mean feat. Did I mention that Amy and her gallery rule? She does. They do.  

While there, our young friends Maddy and Katie (offspring of our genial hosts Becky and Toth, respectively) taught me to hula hoop. Who says you can't teach an old goat new tricks? I got pretty good at it, too.

Then, south to Columbus, where our buddies Meghan and Tom were waiting for us. Meghan says we were the second loudest band she's ever heard. I don't care who the loudest was, because next time we play Columbus, it will be us.

On the bill this night were The Burger Boys and Mr. California. Mr. California was so much fun that we've decided to do a split 7" single with him, whether he wants to or not! Here I must give the durability award for the weekend to Jim Karpinski. Not only did Jim book all of our shows and generally look after us, he played 4 sets in 3 days with 3 different bands. They were all good, too. Now THAT'S durability. Hats off to Jim!

Also there was an older fellow who was an expatriate Connectikite. We met him randomly on the sidewalk before the show. He engaged in animated conversation with all of us and stayed for the whole show. What a trooper.

Bobby went to the convenience store next to the club to get a slice of pizza. What he found looked like someone had eaten a pizza, puked it up onto a fresh crust, and left it under a heat lamp for a few hours. He passed on it, but later in the evening, driven by desperation (as the fries advertised by the club were not being served that night), he went back to buy a slice. There were none left. It reminded me of the George Carlin joke about how somewhere in the world is the worst doctor- and someone has an appointment with him tomorrow!

Driven by near- starvation, Ultrabunny played what might have been the best set of our whole run. For the first song, I ran my new SA 35 through the bass effects rack and it sounded deadly. Chris climbed through a window onto the stage while Bob was playing his unique chords and it was into the stratosphere from there. We were up there for almost 40 minutes and only came down when the oxygen ran out. What a great feeling.

All in all, I rate our sojourn to the State of the Buckeyes a complete success. Thanks to Jim Karpinski for setting the whole thing up and mucho gratitude to Toth Wilder for his unwavering hospitality. A twitch of the bunny ears also to the publishers of "Busted In Cuyahoga County", our new favorite magazine. ULTRABUNNY WILL BE BACK!

BRIAN WILSON AT THE RIDGEFIELD PLAYHOUSE 6/8/11.

  (subtitled: "+/- 500 C.E.O.s with Hawaiian shirts stretched over their paunches shake their flab to the moldy oldies while Brian Wilson sleepwalks and mumbles his way through the first set.")

  Sitting next to me is a C.E.O nursing a small plastic up of white wine. This is his big night out. He sings along out of key. He claps along out of tempo. He is excited in a C.E.O. fashion. He's dressed down, sporting khakis and a polo shirt. He smells like shit. I mean, like SHIT. Theres something rotten inside of this guy and its all coming out of him at the Playhouse. He's probably the head of BP. He's driving me nuts.

  Sitting on the stage like a sack of potatoes is Brian Wilson. There is no pretense of his playing the piano anymore.  He sits behind one, and it is plugged in, but the only time he touches it is to plunk out a couple of notes between songs as a soundcheck. He looks very involved in the process. The piano is barely audible. He reads his lyrics intently from a screen attaced to his piano. He recites the between song banter competently, reading it from the screen. The screen cues his hand motions. His gestures don't always sync up with the words he is singing.

  I wonder what's going through his mind when he performs. Is he enjoying himself? Does he want to be on stage? Is he frightened to death? What would he be doing with himself if not this? Whatever that may be, would he be better off doing it? Imponderables, all.

  After 63 minutes, the first set ends and its intermission time. I break away from Mr. Shit- Smeared- BP- Bossman and look for a spot in the room thats not as smelly. I succeed. I park myself and breathe deeply for the first time in more than an hour.

  Time for the second set: the Gershwin set, as per Brian's new album. He reads the introduction from his little screen and the song begins.

  All of a sudden, Brian's voice is clear and strong. He's right there, up front in the mix, and sounding as good as a 69 year old who's been put through the wringer several times can sound. For the first time in the evening, he's putting visble effort into his singing. His range has increased noticeably. He's not mumbling or fudging anymore. His weird hand gestures seem a little more natural. Maybe he's even sitting up a little.

  His band, as always, are flawless. Their vocal harmonies are perfect. Several members of the group are multi- instrumentalists, so the sonic texture is always changing. They are tight, yet playful, constantly throwing musical jabs at each other that never interfere with the overall performance. I'll admit to feeling envious as I watched them reel off the intricate harmonies and arrangements, seemingly without effort.

  And what arrangements! Whatever Brian Wilson may lack on stage, he still clearly has what it takes in the studio. His versions of the Gershwin songs have a very 'Pet Sounds' take on them. Brian is using the same voicings and arrangements that he did back then and his Gershwin album would have been a logical extension of 'Pet Sounds' had it been recorded and released in 1966. This dude can write the good stuff and his band can play it on stage.

  Even the encores of 'Johnny B. Goode' and 'Help Me Rhonda' had some sparkle to them (though I couldnt help but notice that Brian, with much fanfare, was switched to bass guitar for these two songs and he still wasn't playing it for real).

  Final analysis: the first set was ridiculous and the second set was sublime. Brian Wilson made a George Gershwin fan out of me.

What happens when you're booked to play a solo acoustic show with three other bands and two of them cancel? You end up playing for about two hours and having a LOT of fun. If for no other reason than to prove to myself that it really happened, here's the set list from that fateful night:

Idiots' Club/ War On Morons/ Love In The Teens/ Do It Now/ Words Of Advice To Malcolm Tent/ Words Of Advice To My Ex/ Six Pack/ Suburban Relapse/ The Sissy Song/ Build Me A Car/ Let Me Tell You About My Job/ Way Of The World/ Moon Over Marin/ Smoke On The Water/ Free Bird/ Introduction (From "The Last Days Of Pompeii")/ Woton/ Nazi Punks Fuck Off/ Bo Diddley Had A Baby (bongo version)/ Advice From Christmas Past/ Government Flu/ Terminal Preppie/ It Rules To Be Old/ Black Sabbath/ Nicotina/ Peg Leg Peggy/ Dead Babies/ How Many Polish Girls?/ I Polish Girls (And Make Them Shine, Shine, Shine)/ Words Of Advice To A Young Bob Dylan Upon His Gotham Ingress/ Beautiful World/ Hold Your Ground/ Presidential People Suck/ Carbona Not Glue/ Cool Rockin' Homosexual/ Garbage Dump/ Battle Hymn Of The Bomb Again Christians/ Malcolm Tent Has Feelings, Too/ They're Coming To Take Me Away, Ha Ha/ That Martian Jubilee/ Today Your Love, Tomorrow The World/ I Read Too Much

42 songs! I feel like Bob Pollard. Thanks to Joachim, Paula and Donna for egging me on the whole night. It really was a lot of fun.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010: True story.

At the county fair, I watched oxen pull concrete slabs around a corral while I ate a fried onion. The onion was greasy; the moon radiant.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010: What can go wrong? What can go right?
What can go wrong:
-the bass player can lock his keys and all of his gear in his car before the show.
-the bass player's effects pedal can die.
-the bass player's tuner can die.
-the bass player's wah pedal can malfunction.
-the bass player can break an "A" string immediately before show time.
-the kick drum can develop a hole.
-the kick drum pedal can fall apart.
-the substitute kick drum can slide all over the stage during the performance.
-the smoke machine can blow smoke off the back of the stage instead of all over the stage.

What can go right:
-ULTRABUNNY CAN STILL KICK SOME SERIOUS HEINIE ON STAGE! If you were at Bruar Falls in Brooklyn, you know what I mean. Bosco Delrey have our gratitude for making it happen.
   AND..... we rocked pretty hard in New Haven as well. Rick Reaction, DJ Donovan, and all in the No Values Crew: THANK YOU.

                                Monday, January 4, 2010: Ultrabunny and the big chill
  It started out as a 12 day tour and ended up as a weekend in Trenton, but Ultrabunny have to rock, so off we went. On the way, however, we had a gig in Brooklyn.

  Now, I'm not going to name names or point fingers because I ve heard that the venue we played is actually pretty cool. I'm going to give them the benefit of the doubt and assume that their normal policy is not to freeze the performers to death while leaving nobody in charge of anything. Let's assume that what happened to us on January 2 is the exception and not the rule.

  What happened to us was the coldest gig ever, and that ain't cool. I felt like I was living out page 130 of "Get In The Van". I can't speak for anyone else who was playing that night, but my fingers turned alternately numb and painful upon contact with the neck of my bass. Maybe that's why I played so poorly. Or maybe that it was so cold in this place that I never unbundled after coming inside from the single digit wind chill. It was hard to move with all those layers of clothing on. Everybody's breath was visible as they exhaled. It was pretty funny, really.

  Le Rug were on before us and they were good. They played many short, spazzed out songs named after U.S. presidents. I'd like to see them one day in a warm club. I bet they'd be hot.

  OK. Enough of Brooklyn. Next night was Trenton and that was a lot better. The venue was the Mill Hill Basement and I liked it. It's the basement of an old neighborhood bar in an unglamorous section of Trenton. Atmosphere. Intimacy. History. Heat. The kind of place I like to play.

  On the way to Trenton, we Bunnies had a confab and decided that we were going to be good this night no matter what. I think the other bands had similar conversations because right off the bat, the proceedings were a hit.

  First up were Colurbuk, from Purchase, NY. Lots of improv and a fair amount of structure. Crazy sounds laced with crazy rhythms. Plenty of gear strewn all over the stage. They had a bit in common with rock + roll, but not too much. A healthy mix, I d say.

  Next: Donner Party Picnic, also from Purchase. Any band who plays with total abandon and has a trumpet player is OK by me. They'd better stay together after graduation/ dropping out.

  Then we got to play and it was a monster. Ecstatic peace for 45 minutes (anyone who's been in the pocket onstage knows what Moore was talking about when he coined that phrase). Every moment we were playing felt timeless. From where I was standing, it looked good and sounded good. It was the kind of feeling you can t get anywhere else and it was absolutely worth the long drive, the bitter cold, and the ridiculously overpacked (we're talking about band members traveling with equipment on their laps, folks) vehicle to achieve it. Would I do it again? Heck.... 25 years and I ain't stopped yet!

  We avoided the dreary Jersey Pike for the drive back, favoring scenic Route 1. I love spotting those beautiful old neon motel signs in the middle of the night. The Pulaski Skyway heading into NYC at 3 in the morning offers a stunning view of the skyline. That's what I call icing on the cake.

Sunday, June 10, 2007: Life after Trash American Style

Brooklyn, December 2008: my program notes for a DEVO themed art exhibit

Friday, December 12, 2008: genius and nothing but

Friday, March 13, 2009: Zappa said it all.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009: I review Throbbing Gristle 4/28/09

Tuesday, May 11, 2010: while walking in New Haven

Monday, May 24, 2010: me and The Clash